Life can be depressing at time. To look around and see so much animosity and lack of civility is disheartening. Don't get me wrong, a stoic lifestyle should not be considered living. I would not want to live in a state of false Utopia either, but this poisoned mind frame that one needs to hold grudges and behave with such negativity is ridiculous. There have been some hardships in my life, but I refuse to let these experiences warp me. There comes a time when everyone has to choose how they want to live their life. There is not one correct way to do so, yet there are more constructive ways to go about it.
On one of the social networking sites that I frequently visit, I see these long debates that ultimately turn into an “I know more about this subject and you are ignorant for not seeing it my way” argument. I cannot help but wonder if that was truly necessary. The topic of universal health care is a hot button issue, but to degrade someone by coming to the conclusion that since they do not believe in the same ideology as you that they are ignorant is uncalled for. I am proud of the person for standing their ground and voicing an opinion without fear of judgment. It would be assumed that on a site used to connect with friends, these clashes would not exist, but that is far from the case now a day. I am guilty of having "friends" on my page that I have not spoken to in years and have not said a word to them after they friend requested me. Yet for some this numbers game seems to ease their mind.
That was a tangent that I felt necessary to express, but I will digress back to the real matter at hand. I am appalled by the level of hatred and malice that people have towards one another. Call it naiveté or denial that I have gone this far with trying to see the best in everyone. I know that those who have wronged me in the past are not worth holding grudges over. When I went home, I found out that a person that I lent money to had passed away. It taught me that money is/was not everything. There was a sense of relief in knowing that I let this go long before I found out about this situation. Does holding resentment up until you hear about someone's tragedy make you any better of a person? I have contemplated from time to time about how others perceive me. I know that I tend to be self absorbed, but I do genuinely care about others and will put them before myself. The idea that I am a confrontational and abrasive individual is something that has dumbfounded me. Yes, I do speak my mind, but I am not the type that goes out looking to pick a fight nor do I care for the spectacle that unfolds afterwards.
The catalyst behind this entry comes from a recent event in Korea. A pop star, from a popular male group, was found to have made some disparaging remarks about Korea and the Korean people when he was struggling as a trainee. These comments where dug up from his myspace account from four years ago and used to destroy his career. There are people out there that do not like the fame that others achieve so they go out of their way to ruin the person’s life. The guy had changed and grew up, but that did not matter because he was a foreigner. This event has shown me how dispensable an outsider is to some Koreans. I will not generalize all Koreans, but it seems when a foreigner has lost their usefulness it is time to get rid of them. The fans and netizens here are vicious, one moment they adore you and the next they will turn their backs on you. The suicide rate in Korea is substantially large. When news broke about Park Jaebum’s comments, there was a petition going around that he should commit suicide. To say it was extreme would be an understatement. I am not writing because I am an avid K-Pop fan, this is more of an account of where a stranger in this land of uniform lies.
Some sees us as a leech that comes into their land, take their money and go back to our own countries to live a better life. In all fairness, if there was not such an overwhelming need for us then it would not be such an issue. Basic business practice explains supply and demand. If adequately trained, Korean educators would be able to do what they pay some fresh out of college kid to do. I cannot speak for all foreigners, but the effort I put into doing this job justifies the amount of money I am being paid. I do not take this job lightly since it dictates someone else’s future. It might not be the most fun at times, but it is gratifying.
Apparent, the way my co teachers look at me when they know that I am getting another bonus or incentive to stay. Aggravated, with my request to be paid what was suppose to be mine in the first place. Frustration, in knowing that in the last year I have accumulated more money in my bank account then most who have spent their whole lives working. Due to these facts, I tend to live a mild lifestyle. The world of partying, drinking, and broadcasting my wealth in front of others holds no ground with me. If others find contempt in me then it was not of my own doing. The self respect one gets from living in a country that will pick you apart for any little thing can only make you stronger. It is about time that I start to fulfill the mantra of tolerance.
