What is expected of others.

What do we truly expect of other people and what are the consequences if those ideals are not met? I look at the intensity of others and wonder if life should always be lived with that deep burning or if sometimes that same enthusiasm can be detrimental to the way we function on an everyday basis.

The opinions of those who really count should be the ones that you strive to obtain but how do you go about figuring out who is worth your time and who is not without stumbling across a few bad experiences. When you do come across those who are not worth your time does that mean the time that you invested in those people mean nothing? Is it important to break off all contact with someone when you realize that they are not who you thought they were or you find no use for them anymore?

I have come to the realization that even though I was vocal about what I thought at home and never really hiding my distaste for anything, I was never truly being myself. It was usually a group consensus that was being expressed. I am able to think with a clearer mind out here. Things that use to bother me at home don't have the same effect on me anymore. Other peoples drama or temper tantrums should not change the fact that I am trying to live in the moment. I will take a page from "How I Met Your Mother" and let future David deal with all of this. I am no longer worried about satisfying the right people by hating the right people. All of these emotions are useless. I will just aim my focus onto taking better care of myself and figuring out who I want to be.

Lately, all I have been writing about is the positive aspects of Korea and I think that is giving some people the wrong impression of what life out here truly is like. I have wanted to lose weight for quite some time and now that I am in a country of stick figures I have more motivation to do something about it. On Friday, I went out with some co-teachers for dinner and the office manager said, "It looks as if you are getting fatter. Am I wrong?", This floored me because on Thursday, I went to Levi's and bought a pair of jeans a size smaller than I was at home. I, also went to the tailors to get four shirts taken in and a pair of pants redone. So some cultural aspects of Korea is extremely flawed. I kept my composure while I was out but after I got home, the alcohol kicked in and I started to cry. A moment of weakness plus alcohol never makes for sound judgment. I woke up the next day feeling like a fool. It has occurred to me that the way that others look at me does effect that the way that I look at myself. I know that back at home it is rare to be shamed into wanting to lose weight but the lack of motivation has our country high on the obesity side. I am not justifying this extreme method or mentality but where is the median?

I have plenty of time to figure this out for myself.