November 23, 2008

The boy in the second picture is my favorite, but I adore the kids from this school.

Today marks my first month in Korea. As the weeks pass and everyone has become more acquainted with me, I am asked to participate in more activities within the school. It first began with after school programs to help three girls who are struggling to keep up, then it manifested itself into teachers’ meetings to discuss what I want to take with me from this experience and now on Fridays I teach a conversation course for faculty and staff in one of the country schools.

I am stuck in this conundrum of perpetual doubt. After having dinner with one of the foreign teachers where she recalls all of the times when her Korean co-teachers ask her to dinner to practice her English. The foreigner teacher was offended because it comes off as being used. I am wondering if I am being taken advantage of and I do not like to assume the worst from people. I know the question of whether I will get paid for the teaching but I do not like to think of my life in the monetary sense. It has come down to ethics, not even my own but theirs.

The after school program raises no internal stirring within because it is for the progression of the students and not for a “reward” fulfills the promise to do something for positive for the sake of it. The co-teacher that I work with is a wonderful man, he is known as the “caring super teacher” because he always has his students’ best interest at heart.

The teachers’ meeting, I am uneasy with, the thought of sitting in a room and discussing what I want to gain from this experience I can only think of so much. How many ways can someone say that they want to visit a country that is similar in certain values but drastically different enough to where it is still a learning experience? There is plenty of activities that would be fun to partake in, a multitude of exotic foods to try, and historic events to learn about. It is understood that they know one another, at least on the most superficial level and I am an interloper, so they want to find out more but I can only speak so much. That issue in itself is a problem. The last foreign teacher they had had was considered friendly, spoke much and possessed a more opinionated point of view. The fact that I am compared to him is unfair. Not all Americans are the same, I am more reserved with those I do not know and it is more prevalent when elders are around. Maybe it is the unabashed attitude is what they liked about him but I could not behave in such a manner because I am Asian and should know the code of conduct. It is a catch twenty-two, their expectations acts as a restriction on what they want.

The class for the faculty and staff was the most recent of requests. It seems as if Koreans’ use this ask/told form of obtaining what they want. This was first evident with the winter school that I was asked/told that I would be participating in. That is not such a big deal since I would be getting 30,000 won per hour and it would be teaching kids that want to be there. Ultimately, I would be making almost one months pay for two weeks of work. The second incident occurred with the class I was talking about. I wondered to myself if the previous foreign teacher participated in all of these activities. I do not mind helping but the preparation is what perturbs me. Without the internet at my apartment, for the last month mind you, I am forced to scramble for materials on the spot and slap together a coherent and informative class. I was told my first class went well, but this culture does not openly criticize people. I was given advice on how to approach the class though. The problem is that the range in conversational skills is drastic. This should not be a problem because my students are the same but these are adults and more importantly my superiors.