November 8, 2008

Was the world we taming what we hoping for?

The opening line is not meant to be a melodramatic outpour for attention, but a question posed in a song I was listening to while cleaning the apartment. The primary time allocation, for any given day, rests in pondering about the ramification of what I have done. Was this social experiment as flawed as I had first believed when entering this foreign land? Personally, that question is irrelevant due to the fact that it all lies in how the individual perceives the situation to be at any given moment. For instance, the boost in self-esteem and a sense of gratification that comes from having to stand on your own two feet is inestimable. The desires to have someone else do everything for you never really subside but it is dulled by the fact that you are too far away to depend on anyone else but yourself. I will not lie, I have a friend here that has been nothing but hospitable and helpful, but it is nothing similar to what I have at home and that in itself is growth.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since I first embarked on this self-proclaimed personal journey and emotions have been all over the place. My initial reaction was one of remorse and great regret, but now I have to say I am coping rather well to the idea of independence and self preservation.

I still think of all the people back at home when I perform even the most simple of tasks. Washing the dishes reminds me of how everyday I would wake to make breakfast and see a sea of dishes piled up in the sink waiting for someone to clean. Of course, that begins a chain which leads to me washing them because I do not want my mom to come home and have to do dishes on top of everything else she has to do. At work, I think of how difficult it is to get my co-teachers to like me and how much everyone at home cared about me. American culture, and more likely Las Vegas culture, has reared me to be cautious of sudden acts of kindness or helpfulness. Navigating the supermarket is an activity that challenges this very principle. In each aisle, there is an attendant who helps in pointing out the deals, extra savings or the overall most beneficial items for the customer. There are no motives I can see other than to garner costumer loyalty. That is not to say that you should not watch your back and be somewhat alert to your surroundings but there is no need to be as precautious.